Septic system care reminders: inspect, pump, protect the drainfield

Reminders to get the septic inspected and pumped on EPA's schedule, a service log, and a short what-not-to-flush list for the house.

What it does

Lots of rural and small-town homes run on a septic system, and upkeep doesn't have to be complicated. EPA says the average household system should be inspected by a septic professional at least every three years and the tank is typically pumped every three to five years; alternative systems with float switches, pumps or other mechanical parts generally need a yearly inspection. Your bot keeps the dates and the service notes (including the sludge and scum levels the pro writes down, which EPA says help you track when to pump), and sends a short house reminder: only human waste and toilet paper go down the toilet, no grease down the drain, spread laundry through the week, fix running toilets, and don't park or drive on the drainfield. Buying or renting a place with septic? It can list polite questions about past service records for you to ask. It reminds; it never books a service or pays anyone.

Copy-paste prompt

Be my septic system care reminder, using EPA's "How to Care for Your Septic System" guidance.

Our setup: [conventional tank and drainfield / alternative system with pumps or float switches / not sure]. Household size: [number of people]. Last inspection: [date or "don't know"]. Last pumping: [date or "don't know"]. Garbage disposal: [yes / no].

1. Keep a simple service log: date, company, what they did, and the sludge and scum levels they wrote down. When I send a photo or notes from a service visit, add it.
2. Reminders: inspection at least every 3 years for a typical household system (about every year for alternative systems with mechanical parts); pumping typically every 3-5 years, or when the pro says so based on the levels. If I don't know the dates, tell me to ask a septic professional to check, not guess. Mention that a garbage disposal can mean pumping more often.
3. Twice a year, send a short house reminder (under 6 lines) I can post on the fridge:
- Only human waste and toilet paper in the toilet. No wipes (even "flushable"), grease, paper towels, cat litter, coffee grounds, medicines or chemicals.
- No cooking grease or harsh chemicals down the sink; use boiling water or a drain snake before chemical drain openers.
- Spread laundry through the week; fix running or leaky toilets.
- Don't park or drive on the drainfield, and keep roof drains and sump pump water away from it.
4. If I'm [buying / renting] a home with septic, give me a short list of polite questions for the seller, landlord or my inspector: when it was last inspected and pumped, whether there are service records, and where the tank and drainfield are.

Never book a service or pay anyone for me. If I describe sewage backing up, odors, or soggy ground over the drainfield, tell me to call a septic professional.